Photo by Thinkstock
I follow a couple of my teenage
cousins on Instagram. Sometimes, in between the likes and the
proclamations of BFFAEAE (that’s best friends forever and ever and ever,
for those not fluent in teen speak), will be a comment like “you’re
such a slut, :)!” Yes, “slut” and a smiley face, in the same sentence.
I’ve seen guys make sexual comments to a 15-year-old, to which she’ll
respond “ew, stop!” And whether it’s intended as a joke—like that “slut”
comment, I think?—or as an advance or threat, it’s cyberbullying.
A report released Wednesday
by the Pew Research Internet Project (their first devoted to
cyberbullying) found that young adults aged 18-29 experience online
harassment more than any other group. In fact, among adults aged 18-24,
70% have been the target of online harassment. According to the report,
60 percent of Internet users said they had witnessed someone being
called offensive names. Continue...
And while there’s no doubt that
there are some mean kids out there with less-than-good intentions,
oftentimes young adults don’t realize that the comments they’re posting
aren’t ok. “Teens admit to us that they’ve cyberbullied, but say that
when they posted, they meant it as a joke,” Dr. Justin Patchin,
co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center, told Yahoo Parenting. “They don’t always realize that sarcasm doesn’t work very well over electronic avenues.”
Groups like Stop Bullying and Connect Safely have long focused on teaching online safety, and now the social media sites themselves are joining the fight. In a profile in The New York Times,
Arturo Bejar, director of engineering for the Facebook Protect and Care
team, explains his efforts to teach respectful behavior to the site’s
1.3 billion users. He agrees that much of the bullying is unintentional.
“The way our brains work, we have evolved to understand each other by
tone of voice or seeing facial expressions, but that gets lost through
the devices we use to communicate,” he says.
But the real work of teaching
appropriate online behavior starts at home. Use these tips to help your
children navigate social media respectfully, and to ensure (as best you
can) that they don’t become a cyberbully.
Know what they’re doing online.
“Parents need to monitor their
children’s accounts and set appropriate safety settings,” Dr. Marc
Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, tells
Yahoo Parenting. “Many adolescents are too young to be navigating
independently in this space.” Parent should assess their child’s
emotional development, Brackett says, to see if they can manage their
emotions online.
Create norms about what is or is not appropriate to say or share.
Venting or complaining online
should be a no-no, as should sarcasm. “‘Nice sweater’ can mean that
literally, or be an insult,” Dr. Brackett says. Figuring out which is
tricky – so best not to post it at all. And remind your kids to refrain
from responding to a comment or post when they’re charged up.
Model respectful online behavior.
If you’re sitting down to
comment on a post or respond to a photo, have your child watch. Explain
why you’re using certain words, and also why you’re not saying
certain things. “Show them that you can critique an article, or have a
dialogue, but that you don’t attack a poster personally or threaten
them,” Patchin says. This will teach your children how to engage online,
but also that you need to consider every comment. “Regularly remind
your kids of the importance of pausing before you post.”
Use high-profile examples as a learning tool.
Social media interactions often
make headlines, so think of these as teachable moments, Patchin
suggests. “Ask your kids, ‘what went wrong here? What could you have
done differently in this situation?”
Encourage empathy.
Have your kids put themselves in
the shoes of the person they’re responding to online, whether it’s a
wall post or an Instagram photo or a tweet. “Remind them to think about
how they are making others feel,” suggests Brackett. “Is what you are
writing going to make the person feel disrespected? Ask, ‘how can we
craft messages to share our feelings without making things worse?’”
By: Rachel Bertsche
No comments:
Post a Comment